Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
