Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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