theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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