i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
