We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
