i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
