I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
