you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
