Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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