God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
