my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
