I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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