I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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