The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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