Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
