Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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