I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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