There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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