I murdered the dance floor call the cops
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
