since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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