You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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