if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
