Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
