so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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