Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
