This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
