JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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