WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
