So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
