: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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