I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
