Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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