am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
