I wish I could teleport
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
