this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dick very happy bro
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
