Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
