If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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