Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

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(310): View more from California

Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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(503): View more from Oregon

One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.

(503): View more from Oregon

By 8 I mean 9.

(503): View more from Oregon

And by 9 I mean 10.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.

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