Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We left an ass print on the piano.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
