I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
