I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
