Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
