is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
