he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
