Say something about gay babies.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
