I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
