I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
