I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
