gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
