There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
