i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
