Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
